Observations on 24

Thanks to my oldest daughter, Valerie, I'm way into "24" this year -- for the first time ever. I've tried to watch a couple of times before, but I always came in mid-season and I've discovered that with "24" you can't do that. You have to be in from the first episode of the season, or you might as well forget it. At least that's how it works with me. Those of you who watch already know that it's a fast-paced show that barely leaves you time to breathe and that each episode supposedly takes place in "real time," with each one-hour episode representing one hour of a day, and the entire season making up the whole day. That means that Jack Bauer goes through one hellish day a year, and that's also where my problem comes in. Don't get me wrong. I'm hooked. Hooked enough to add the first five seasons to my Netflix queue so I can see what I've been missing all this time. But as I was watching last night's episode, I noticed a few things that didn't add up. I'm a pretty picker reader and an equally picky TV viewer, so gaps in logic always smack me in the face. For instance, has anyone noticed that Jack can make it anywhere in LA from anywhere else in LA in ten minutes? Does he have a super-secret, super-charged vehicle I don't know about? Cuz the last time I was in LA traffic, I couldn't have gone a mile in ten minutes. Not only can Jack make it anywhere in ten minutes, he also gets there faster than anyone else, including those traveling by helicopter. I cheerfully suspend my disbelief every Monday, but still, once in a while, I wonder . . . And has anyone else noticed that Morris, who suffered unspeakable physical torture just two or three hours ago, is moving around CTU like a man who didn't suffer unspeakable physical torture just two or three hours ago? He never even winces! Now maybe I'm just a huge wimp, but I think I might, occasionally, experience a twinge of pain, if I were in Morris's shoes. Whatever Jack Bauer eats, drinks, or takes, I want some. The man was just released from Chinese prison 7 or 8 hours ago, and he's been through . . . . well, in the interest of not spoiling the show for anyone who hasn't watched this year, let's just say he's been through hell . . . and yet he seems to be gaining strength as the day goes on. I realize he's Jack Bauer, and that fact alone renders him almost super-human, so I probably couldn't benefit from a hit or two from his vitamin bottle, but I'd be willing to try. I've realized that my feelings for the characters can change from week to week. People I disliked at the beginning of the season have suddenly become the "good guys" (or at least they seem to be the good guys at the moment). I didn't like Morris at first, but I feel differently now. And I wasn't feeling the love for Tom Lennox until last night, and now . . . well, I like Peter McNichol as an actor so I'm kind of glad that I don't have to hate his character anymore. Every once in a while Chad Lowe looks just like his brother, but the moment is always fleeting. Every once in a while Powers Boothe still looks or sounds like Curly Bill from "Tombstone", and I am reminded how grateful I am that as I gracefully add years to my life, I don't find 18-year-old men as attractive as I used to. I think that as a woman with night sweats and hot flashes, lusting after someone young enough to be my son might make me kind of a twisted individual. The young Powers was hot when I was that age, and now that I'm this age, he's still pretty hot -- in a vice-presidential kind of way :) And finally, when did Kiefer start looking like a full-grown man instead of a kid? Don't get me wrong, it's a nice look. I highly approve (see above paragraph) but it seems like just the other day that he was a kid shooting off his mouth and his gun in Young Guns. I didn't even blink and he showed up with smile lines around his eyes. I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. I've been aware of Kiefer ever since Valerie first laid eyes on him. For a few years, we watched everything he was ever in, and just the sound of his name could set Valerie all a-twitter. It still does, actually, but she just hides it better now -- one of the good things about leaving pre-puberty in the dust. If Pete from the Mod Squad were to suddenly show up as a super-agent who could get anywhere in LA traffic in 10 minutes and who could survive any amount of torture, and only get better for it, I'd be all a-twitter too!