The Benefits of Aging -- Gracefully

I've been playing around with feng shui a little as I work on creating a serene and inviting office. What I really want is a serene and inviting home, not a house filled with chaos. It's a little difficult to do serene with two huge lab mix dogs bounding around, but I'm doing my best. (Have I mentioned that my daughter brought her dog when she moved in?) I think I've managed to get the hang of the most elementary feng shui principles. I've figured out, I think, which section of my house is associated with what, and I think I've managed a rudimentary understanding of the connection colors and different elements, like fire, water, wood and water, have with the bagua. Kind of. This is definitely something that could take a whole lot more study than I have time to devote to it. On the other hand, I finally have time in my life to devote to studying things simply because I want to know more about them -- like feng shui. When my kids were younger and at home all the time, undertaking a study of feng shui, even a minor study, would have been impossible. I still remember the soul-searching I had to do just to convince myself I could take time away from the kids to write. I guess it's natural. At least, it seems to be something women do on a regular basis. Between work and kids and the house and a husband (if you've got one) and parents and family obligations, and maybe a church thing or two, finding time to take a bath seems like a minor miracle. Finding quiet time to study something just for fun???? Forget it! The real tragedy is that when our kids start getting older and gaining independence, when we find ourselves rattling round the house with time we don't know how to fill, most of us have forgotten what once interested us in the first place. A couple of years ago, when I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life, someone (actually several someones) advised me to do something nice for myself every day. Trouble was, I had no idea what I might enjoy. On the plus side, if you're persistent enough and determined enough, eventually you do begin to remember what you used to find interesting. And you begin to figure out what you don't find interesting, too. About this time, you start realizing how many years you've spent pretending to be interested in things you couldn't care any less about. You also start losing interest in maintaining the pretense, which is why, by the time we're old, people think women are cranky. We're not actually cranky, we've just stopped pretending to be so sweet all the time. Pleasing others isn't nearly as attractive to me at this age as it was when I was 20. So other people may like me less, but I like myself better. In my opinion, that's not such a bad trade!

The Serene And Inviting Office

Three months ago, after a meeting with my critique group, I decided to redo my office and turn it into a peaceful place, a serene place, a place that drew me to it every morning and made me want to spend hours there. After all, writing is what I do. Don't I deserve a serene and inviting place in which to do it? I was so gung-ho, I pulled all of the paper and office supplies out of the closet, jerked out all of the drawers and shelves, piled everything on the floor, and got ready to reorganize. Then my daughter came home and announced that she wanted to get married, which completely derailed my Grand Reorganization Project. Before I could catch my breath after the wedding, my oldest daughter moved back in with her dog and two cats while she restructures her life, my youngest niece got married, and Sherry's Grand Office Redo was left sitting on the side of the road, nose down in a ditch. I came home from Atlanta, spent a few days catching up with myself, then took off to St. George, Utah, for a five-day writing retreat with my dearest friends and critique partners. It was sheer heaven, and we got a lot done but, needless to say, the Serene and Inviting Office Of My Dreams was left in that ditch until I got home. Now, finally!!! I'm ready to get back to my office and the mounds of stuff waiting for me to make sense of it all. But first I have to pick up and deliver dinner to my pregnant daughter and son-in-law, repot the African violets and hanging plants I bought for my entry way, and attend an online chat. But I swear the office is going to be first on my prioirity list . . . tomorrow!

Comfort Foods

It's Monday, which means that it's Dinner With My Parents night. This is a relatively new tradition around my house--something we started about 7 years ago when my parents moved back to Utah after living away for something like 22 years. My mom, especially, missed having kids and grandkids living nearby, so when they wandered home again at age 70-something, Mom started inviting me and my kids over for dinner once a week. We don't make it every week. Life does tend to get in the way at times, but we go often enough to keep my mother happy. She called me yesterday to make sure we were coming because she's making my favorite meal ever, her Spaghetti and Meatballs using fresh tomatoes straight out of the garden. I do like spaghetti. A lot. But I rarely order it when I'm eating out. No matter where I go, it never comes up to snuff -- and to paraphrase Adrian Monk, for me it has to be, you know, snuff. So it's not just spaghetti I like, it's my mom's spaghetti. Bread soaked in water. Parmesan cheese in the meatballs. Just the right amount of each spice. Ground beef, no sausage and, for the record, never, ever, EVER made with ground turkey. She's tried that. 'Nuff said. My mom's spaghetti always makes me feel warm and safe and just a little bit special, and I guess that's what makes comfort food comforting. Mom's spaghetti and meatballs tops my list of comfort foods, but her potato salad and fried chicken is right up there near the top of the list. That's what she made every year the night before we started out on our vacation, and we always stopped midway between Montana and Utah to eat it. Fried chicken and potato salad in the middle of Yellowstone National Park is one of my favorite childhood memories. And then there are mashed peaches with graham crackers. Peaches put into the blender and whirred until smooth -- the only breakfast my mom could get me to eat when I was a teenager. Though now I find that I function much better if I have protein at breakfast (something I'm afraid that Mom always knew) I still find that there are days when nothing else will do. I'm sure there are more things I could name, like her apple dumplings, but it's almost time to leave and I can hear those meatballs calling my name. A big shout out to my mom's cooking!

The Shower to End All Showers

A one-of-a-kind shower in the Concierge Lounge of the Marriott Marquis in Atlanta!

Hey Mom, you lied! Money does grow on trees!!!!!

A few of the surrogate moms who threw the shower!

A big shout out to all the surrogate moms who created such a special party for Vanessa!

Home Again, Home Again

I'm back from Atlanta and finally catching my breath enough to read e-mail and blog for a minute or two. As I suspected, I didn't spend enough time in my room to make it worth paying for an internet connection, but that means that I have hundreds of unread e-mails waiting. It was a busy 9 days, and though the hotel was really wonderful and the staff was extremely responsive, I have to admit that it felt good to get home and crawl into my own bed on Sunday night. Much as I loved not having to cook or clean up afterward, I was pretty dessert tray-ed out after more than a week of official events. We braved Moonlight Madness for a few minutes, but the room was so crowded and hot, I didn't get a chance to look closely at everything I wanted to see. I bought two great T-shirts, though, so I'm happy. Collecting T-shirts and coffee mugs are my two greatest joys when I travel. I'd planned on bringing pictures back, but I forgot to take my camera, so no pictures for me this year. It's too bad, too. It was a great conference, full of fun and laughter. I'm already looking forward to Dallas in 2007!